As the world grapples with the challenges imposed by the ongoing pandemic, artists find themselves asking profound questions. In a recent conversation with Rema, an art director, we delved into her unique opportunity to reflect, slow down, and carefully examine the patterns and pitfalls in her life. While we didn't delve deeply into her background, our discussion primarily focused on the present and the future. Rema shared that she had dedicated a significant amount of time during quarantine to engage in meditative reflection, analyzing each relationship and moment as if they were essays to be unpacked.

Rema attributed her analytical process to her starsign, considering it a byproduct of her introspective nature. However, as our conversation progressed, it took on a more serious tone. Describing herself as a self-professed "free-spirit," she emphasized the chance she now had to "bend the wind" rather than simply going with the flow. Rema highlighted the phrase "social distance" as an opportunity to observe her daily social interactions, evaluating whether they nurtured her spiritual growth or hindered it. In the past, as a free-spirited individual, she often neglected to confront moments or words that troubled her. However, with life on pause, she now had the space to contextualize her experiences. While her moments of reflection could be interpreted as existential, Rema insisted that they were transformative, shaping a year in which her aspirations as a director could genuinely come to fruition.

During our conversation, Rema shared her insights on relationships, emphasizing that when she talks about "needs" in any relationship, she refers to her own wants and desires. She discovered that some relationships she initially believed to be fruitful turned out to be detrimental to her creativity. After a brief trip to Berlin, she expanded her interests, immersing herself in activities such as gardening, yoga, and even roller-skating with her local community. Although our interview largely focused on her personal growth rather than her creative journey, our discussions often revolved around themes of strength and focus.

Rema now finds herself in a state of flux, constantly evaluating herself and the relationships she maintains, pondering whether they contribute positively to her long journey of self-discovery. Alongside personal change, she also shed light on an issue prevalent in the industry—the creation of subconscious bubbles. As a black creative, Rema observed that likeminded friends and acquaintances tend to form small circles, not out of nepotism but rather complacency. She highlighted the frequent occurrence of encountering the same people on set and urged black creatives to dismantle the practice of creative gatekeeping, advocating for the sharing of opportunities with everyone. Only through such inclusivity can the industry become sustainable and truly thrive.

Months after our initial conversation, the concept of feeling burdened by lockdown seemed trivial, particularly as we faced the challenges of enduring multiple lockdowns. Our discussion moved beyond past experiences and ventured into new territory—love and transforming it into something of value, rather than merely a possession to hold onto. Rema challenged the notion that art is primarily driven by fleeting emotions, such as pain, angst, or love. Instead, she prompted me to consider the constant pursuit of wellness and wholeness alone. She described her ongoing journey as a form of pilgrimage, a process of self-discovery that she approached with unwavering determination. Rema dismissed the notion that this path was arduous, finding solace in the idea of growing beyond the pain she had previously experienced.

Our conversations were rarely confined to singular moments but evolved over time as we wrestled with various ideas and interrogated the foundations of the emotions Rema had previously channeled into her work. She questioned whether it was right to let go of a long-term relationship simply because it had been long or if it was acceptable to end friendships. Through these exchanges, I found myself learning more about myself, and it became evident that Rema's art would likely elicit a similar introspective response in others.